Insane Fanfic Writer writes Quiefer
by ladyeclectic
Summary: An insane fanfic writer tries to write the perfect Quiefer, and the two leads don't agree with her


# **Killer Fanfic Writers from the Alternate Earth!!!  
**

(or something like that)

  


_My first attempt at humor. I'm more a serious writer, and this was harder for me than I thought it would be! :D Anyway, hope you enjoy it, I'm thinking of making it a mini series type deal if I can ever find the time or motivation (little sleep+a lot of caffeine=fanfics like this from me *g*). And yes, I am *DEFINITELY* one for writing Quiefers! Those two belong together (but probably not this way *g*). :-)_   


  


* * *

  


  
_In the land of non-Final Fantasy, an insane fanfic writer rubs her hands together. "I am going to create the most perfect Seifer/Quistis fanfic ever written," she practically sings, then laughs maniacally. "Those two won't know what hit them! Mwah-ha-ha-ha-h---"   
_

"Honey, are you alright?"   


"Um, yes mom."   


* *   


  
**Quistis finished off the monster and looked around the training arena.**   


  
"Now class, if you'll take out your book and open to page..." Turning around, Quistis paused as she noticed her class had disappeared. Actually, considering the foliage that had almost miraculously sprung up about her, it may not have been her students who had disappeared from the classroom. And where had her workout clothes come from? Hadn't she been wearing her work clothes, the dress uniform she wore as an instructor? Wait a minute, hadn't she been holding a pointer and not Save the Queen?   


What was going on here? "Hello?" she called out tentatively.   


  
**She heard a sound behind her and whirled around to see Seifer staring at her.**   


  
"What the hell?!" Seifer's voice floated to her ears and she stared at the man who just an instant ago she was sure hadn't been there. He was checking himself out, an angry expression on his face. "This isn't the cafeteria." His eyes settling on Quistis, he angrily stated, "What did you do this time, instructor?"   


  
**Her heart melted, staring at his studly profile. 'What a hunk,' she thought.**   


  
"What do you mean ... ?" she started angrily, then her heart melted as she realized just what a hunk Seifer was. Gasping, she slapped her forehead, wondering where on earth that thought had come from!   


Seifer just sneered. "What's wrong with you Instructor? You look like you..."   


  
**Seifer looked down at the ground, for once a sneer missing on his face. "You are the most beautiful woman I have ever met. I'm sorry it took me this long to say it, but I must."**   


  
"... You are the most beautiful woman I have ever--" His eyes widened in the middle of the statement and he clapped a hand over his mouth, the rest of the words muffled.   


"Wha..." Quistis couldn't have heard him right. Had he just said...   


"You crazy witch, what did you do to me?!" he thundered.   


  
**Striding over to the blond, Seifer laid his hands gently on her shoulders.**   


  
"Ack! What's happening to me?!" Taking jerky steps, Seifer approached Quistis. He was obviously fighting whatever was happening to him, and he turned panicked eyes to Quistis. "Stop this!"   


"I'm not doing anything!" she yelled back, realizing she herself could no longer move either. She watched in horror as Seifer stopped in front of her, his hands quite involuntarily going to her shoulders.   


  
**"For years, I've tried to deny what I feel for you, but seeing you here..."**   


  
Seifer's jaw began to move and he bit down hard to keep himself from saying the words, but the powers that be would have nothing of it. "For years," he ground out, spittle flying as he tried to stop his body from doing commands he had no say in, "I've tried to deny what I feel... QUEZACOTL!"   


The area rumbled as the guardian of lightening appeared before Seifer. "What would you have me do?" the guardian rumbled.   


"....but seeing you here... Stop whoever is doing this to us!!"   


"As you wish," the GF replied, and geared up for battle.   


* *   


_"Quezacotl? Wait, he wasn't supposed to be there." Talk about the characters doing what they want, she thought to herself and started to backspace when a shock came over the keyboard. With a little scream she toppled backwards in her chair and hit the ground. Stunned, she groaned out, "What was that?"_   


* *   


The compulsion left as quickly as it came, and both Seifer and Quistis leaped away from each other. "What's going on?" they both asked at the same time, staring hard at one another.   


"Someone is trying to control you from another plane of existance," the voice of Quezacotl rumbled over them, "someone with a firm control over our reality. Whatever it wants it is manipulating those of this world to bring about its own form of..."   


The GF froze, then disappeared. Seifer and Quistis were flung together, back into their original formation. "Not again," Quistis wailed.   


* *   


_Shaking her head, the fanfic writer set her fingers to the keyboard again, erasing the weird stuff that had appeared on the screen. "You know you want to kiss her, Seif old buddy," she stated, grinning as she began typing._   


* *   


  
**Filled with an unquenched yearning, Seifer slowly lowered his face until his lips touched those of Quistis.**   


  
As Quistis watched Seifer's head get closer to hers and was unable to do anything about it, the only thing she could think of at the moment was, "IFRIT!!"   


The fire GF appeared suddenly in a great ball of fire. "What is your bidding, mistress?"   


"Destroy whoever is doing this to us!" she cried just as Seifer's lips settled over hers.   


* *   


_"Now what's Ifrit doing in this scene?" the fanfic writer wondered out loud, but as she was about to hit the BackSpace button the keyboard began to glow redhot. With a cry she whipped her hands off the board, blowing on them frantically to lessen the pain._   


* *   


The compulsion was gone. "Run!" Quistis screamed in Seifer's face and the two sprinted down the corridor leading back into the main part of Garden.   


* *   


_Her eyes narrowing, the fanfic writer watched as the story played out in front of her through the writing on the screen. 'This means war,' she thought. 'This WILL be the Quiefer of the century!' Giving her fingers one last shake she started typing again._   


* *   


  
**Seifer and Quistis stopped their mad run down the hallway. Backing her up to the wall, Seifer dropped his head and began a heavy make-out session with Quistis....**   


  
"What?!" Seifer backed Quistis up to the wall and began kissing her neck. Quistis pushed at his shoulders...   


  
**....and Quistis liked it. REALLY liked it.**   


  
"Oh my..." Throwing her head back, Quistis tried desperately to figure out what were real feelings and what weren't. Forcing herself out of a haze of passion, she flung her head back and called out, "CARBUNCLE!"   


A little hole formed in the ground and Carbuncle peered out. "Yes?"   


"C...cast re..flect on whoe...ever is doing th...this," Quistis chattered out, trying to push Seifer's head away from her chest. He was entirely too good at this, unwilling or not. "N...NOW!!"   


* *   


_Uh oh..._   


* *   


Instantly, Quistis found herself staring back at an amazed class. Looking down she saw her shirt gaping open, and shut it as quickly as she could. "Class dismissed," she stated, then raced out the door towards the cafeteria, buttoning her shirt as she ran.   


Seifer met up with her halfway. Both stopped in front of one another, neither wanting to be the first to speak.   


"Did you..."  
"Were you just..."   


An uncomfortable silence ensued, then Quistis asked, "Did that just happen?"   


Seifer reluctantly nodded. "Is it over though?"   


Another silence. "I think it might be over," Quistis said after a couple minutes.   


"I'm not sure, you don't feel any urges to come ... kiss me?"   


He looked slightly sickened by the idea, but instead of being depressed by the statement she felt immensely cheered up. "None whatsoever. I'd rather lock lips with a ringed geezard."   


The smile Seifer gave her was utterly devoid of his usual sneer. "Glad that's over. Not bad with the Carbuncle save back there."   


Quistis blushed. "You weren't so bad yourself. I just hope this doesn't happen again; who knows if or when this enemy may come back again? We'd better go warn the headmaster about this."   


"Good idea. Listen, I was getting some lunch before all...this...happened. After we warn Cid about it, want to come with me?"   


Barely keeping a smile from breaking over her face, Quistis nodded. "But it's purely platonic, you're still my student remember."   


Seifer just raised an eyebrow.   


  
**"Just see if you can remember that."**   


  
"Just see if you can remember that," he remarked, and turned out towards the quad.   


  
**As he retreated, Quistis couldn't help but notice what a fine profile he made.**   


  
You know, she thought to herself, he can be awfully cute when he's not being a butthead. She let herself enjoy his retreating form before starting out after him.   


* * * *   


_Back in the world of fanfic writing, the girl rubbed her hands and laughed maniacally yet again. Subtlety, it just required subtlety. "You cannot escape the wrath of the Lady Eclectic," she intoned.   
_

"Honey, really, are you alright?"   


"I'm FINE mom."   


  
Please read and review! :D  


  



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